I've Been Touching My iPod. A Lot.

Even though the disc for Batman: Arkham Asylum is sitting in the tray of my Xbox 360, my most amusing toy as of late has been my iPod Touch. My little Hitchhiker's Guide is little more than a year old now, and I have to say that using it as a $300 remote control never gets old.

But, aside from that, here's what I've got on the Touch...

1. Podcasts

In my first post, I mentioned a list of podcasts I've been listening to, as I've become a talk-radio junkie. I'm sad to report that Maniacal Rage has not recorded a new podcast since March, but it still plays constantly on my iPod. In order to cope with my podcast fix, I've found some new ones:

Wordballoon with John Siuntres. It's a comic book podcast that focuses on specific creators in a one-on-one interview. While every interview may not be a top-tier creator, host John Siuntres is a personality of epic proportions in the comic book podcasting world. He's like your fun uncle who thinks nothing has ever topped The Dick Van Dyke Show.

The real highlight of his show has always been the Bendis Tapes episodes, in which Siuntres interviews the one and only Brian M. Bendis, superstar of Marvel Comics. The Bendis Tapes began about four years ago, and Siuntres interviews Bendis every six months or so. Currently, Siuntres is releasing a new set of these Tapes, and anyone interested in comics, film, pop culture, or listening to two incredibly well-read individuals, this is the nectar of the gods.

Co-Op. It's a well-done yet relaxed video podcast shot in San Francisco about the latest video games. What makes this podcast unique is that it isn't shot on a soundstage. It has guerrilla segments shot on the streets of San Fran, featuring the Co-Op hosts and a varied array of guests talk about games. The comments can range from the casual to the hard-core, and after watching these episodes, I always want to go out and play these games.

Also, Co-Op is updated pretty regularly (about once a week), so there's never a long wait for the next one.

Finally, That's What She Said. TWSS is a fan-produced Office podcast. Each episode comments on the most recent NBC's The Office episode. The hosts talk about what worked and what didn't work, with segments of the show's audio thrown in as well. I sometimes find the hosts bashing on the show more often than enjoying it, but for the most part it's a nice (and free) audio companion to the TV show.

2. Motion Comics

I blogged about motion comics back in August, and I mentioned Spider-Woman: Agent of SWORD. At the time, I was brimming with anticipation as the previously mentioned Brian Bendis was writing the first Marvel Motion Comic that wasn't an adaptation of an early print comic.

As of today, there are 4 episodes of Spider-Woman available for download on iTunes, and I may not be as enthusiastic as I previously was. Motion comics have a way to go, as the illustrated audio book just doesn't seem to be original enough to last beyond the novelty. Yet, Spider-Woman is gorgeous. Artist Alex Maleev has clearly poured his heart into the art for this book, and Bendis has been waiting to write this book for about 10 years.

All 4 eps are on my iPod now, and I've watched them several times. I even wrote a review about Episodes 1 and 4 for ComicNews.info. Again, comic nerds, check this out.

3. Games

I had originally believed games for the iPhone/iPod Touch to be cheap and crappy. Up until about one month ago, the only game I had was a free app version of Solitaire, which only got some playtime during a long wait at the Charlotte airport.

However, my eyes have been opened.

Harbor Master is puzzle game that utilizes the touch feature of the iPhone. You guide little ships into their docks, let them unload their cargo, and then you lead them out. Sounds simple, I know, but wait until you get four ships at once -- two of them 4-cargo ships -- and then try to lead them all around without crashing one into the other. It's not easy. Trust me.


I probably wouldn't have given this game an initial glance were it not for the 99-cent price tag. Seriously cheap. Seriously awesome.

And the soundtrack is quite enjoyable. It's a simply little beat to accompany your harbor-mastering, but the sounds you make when moving your ships around actually becomes part of the music.

Also, I recently got geoDefense Swarm. Now, I'm a tower defense junkie, so this is the game for me. There's another GD game, simply titled geoDefense, but Swarm is different in that you are given an open field (for the most part) on which you can place your turrets. Anyone who has played Tower Defense games will know how this works.


What makes this game special is the stunning graphics and color. Everything is vibrant on the crisp iPhone screen. Again, another 99-cent game. (The original geoDefense is $1.99.) Both are must-haves for the iPhone.

For now, that's all I've got, and it's keeping me busy. However, other downloads loom on the horizon.

Till next time.

Your Guide to...DVD Commentary

Now, I've talked a lot of movie talk in my time. I've also done a lot of the TV chatter. I'm a media junkie, so that can't be helped.

I know people who go out and buy new DVDs every Tuesday. Whether they've seen them or not, they buy them. Brand new.

And the next week, these people want nothing more than to tell me about the latest DVD purchases. They want to tell me about the deleted scenes, alt endings, additional disc of 18 unseen hours of whatever.

But whenever I mention commentary, everyone clams up.

At first, I never understood this. People will watch lots of extra stuff on DVDs, otherwise why would it be there? It helps sell the product.

People will watch a lot of stuff, but no one ever listens to commentary. Except for the real nerds.

Only the real nerds want someone else to tell them about the movie, rather than just watching the movie themselves. Please, William Shatner, tell me about Wrath of Khan.

But, I'm being honest here. I'm that kind of nerd. I watch the commentary, because I want to see these things through the creators' eyes. I want to know what Steve Carell is like off-camera.

Nay, I need to know.

I'm going to assume that, if you're reading this, you're not a part of that .001% that enjoys the commentary, so, for your ease, I'm going to explain the commentary so that you might know when it's worth your time.

You need to know who will be in the commentary. I don't just mean, make sure whoever is talking is someone important. I've listened to commentary with lead actors or directors, and they can be boring.

I mean, know what kind of personalities you're going to be listening to. It's like talk radio. If you don't like who's talking, you're not going to want to hear what they're talking about.

I'm a big fan of The Office, and most of the episode commentaries are great because Jenna Fischer or Rainn Wilson are in 99% of the commentary tracks. They're the kind of commentators who keep the energy level high, know when to shut up and when to talk, and, most importantly, they know what's interesting and what is not.

I've noticed that, when the mics are rolling and it's commentary time, there are three types of people.

First, there's the person who acts of MC for the commentary, like Rainn or Jenna as I mentioned eariler. They ask the questions of the other people. They organize the whole show.

Second, there's the person who has something interesting to say. They're the director or casting consultant or writer. However, they won't be the loudest voice. In fact, these people are often intimidated by the third type of commentator...

The loudmouth. The loudmouth doesn't have anything of actual interest to say. Normally, they give insightful comments like "I like this part" or "That was funny." Often, they will simply narrate what is going on. "This is where Frodo drops the ring. Let's watch!" They add nothing of interest, but they're in the commentary because they're someone of importance to the work.

While film commentary will often have the bigger named stars, I'm more often drawn to listening to TV commentary. This is basically because I've come to learn that, if one season of a show has good commentary, the entire series will have good commentary. The Office continues to have good insight. One episode of Season 5 had BJ Novak and the catering crew, and I still found it excellent.

Family Guy has commentary on almost every episode, with Seth MacFarlane in every track.

While 30 Rock's commentary is mostly Tina Fey and her husband, who does music for the show, the commentary is as stunningly brilliant as the show. Occasionally you'll get Alec in there, but mostly it's quiet Tina. But that's fine with me.

Sadly, not all commentary is amazing. Commentary will almost always be interesting to the diehard fan, but to outsiders, it can be a waste.

Avoid commentary with less than three people. It gets slow or dull. Also, avoid commentary with a whole party of people. It's usually hard to tell what's being said, and it sounds like the commentators are just having a keg party back there.

How I Met Your Mother's commentary mainly consists of the show's creators, Carter Bays and Craig Thomas, pimping their band and narrating the show. While I'm a huge fan of this show, I don't really have a stomach for the commentary.

Others, while not outstanding, are definitely worth the listen. Tropic Thunder features Robert Downey Jr. doing his character voice throughout the entire film.

Yes, it's for the nerdiest of the nerds, but it's awesome. At least, I think so.

Writing Exercise: "The Five Dollar Bill"

Again, another exercise I cannot take credit for. I found this one on C.M. Mayo's website of 5 Minute Writing Exercises.

"The Five Dollar Bill"
A five dollar bill changes hands five times in one day. Make a list of where, when, who hands it over, and for what. For example:
~Where: Starbucks, New Jersey Turnpike
~When: 7:30 am;
~Who: Bob, a truck driver;
~What: a cup of coffee (black) and a bean burrito.
If you can complete this exercise in less than five minutes, go back and add more detail to describe the places and the people.


Where: Movie Theater, Manhattan
When: 10:00 p.m.
Who: Chris Rogers
What: 2 tickets to the newest chick flick

Where: 7-11, Queens
When: 12:13 a.m.
Who: Hank Greer (who pocketed the $5)
What: Diapers

Where: First National Bank, Midtown
When: 9:10 a.m.
Who: Mario Oliveri
What: Deposit of Yesterday's Cash

Where: Back Alley, Bronx
When: 7:03 p.m.
Who: Jenna Hiteman (who robbed the bank)
What: "8 Ball"

Where: Joe's Floral
When: 8:30 p.m.
Who: Chris Rogers
What: Dozen red roses

(Note: I took the guideline of "changes hands 5 times in one day" to equal 24 hours. Also, my five dollar bill is most times part of a larger transaction. For example, clearly the deposit at the bank is not just $5.)

This is one I really had fun with when it was all over. I had a little difficulty finishing within the 5 minutes, as I really thought about plot as I made the dollar change hands. Once finished, I was kind of amazed how the plot twisted and actually had a meaning behind it, although somewhat shallow.

The Disney/Marvel Team-up!

Undoubtedly, you have all heard of Disney's buyout of Marvel Entertainment for the low, low, bargain bin price of a mere 4 billion cool ones, but I thought I'd take the time and address this matter from the point of view of a fan who is not (yet) a fanboy.

(The key difference between "fan" and "fanboy" is in the intensity with which one approaches the material. For instance, when I read Wolverine, I always give a Joe Cool thumbs-up whenever Logan pops his claws, inevitably causing a SNIKT sound effect. This is the sign of a fan.

A fanboy, however, reads Wolverine while wearing a Wolverine costume - at least the mask and hairdo - and yells profanity anytime SNIKT is not drawn in exactly the same style as his first in costume appearance in GIANT-SIZE X-MEN #1. A fanboy also follows up this lovely reading experience by going onto the interwebs of doom, finding a comic book message board, and creating a thread called "WOLVERINE IS SO TEH LAME NOW, I HATE HIM FOR MAKING ME WASTE MY ALLOWANCE!!!1!!")

Disney buying Marvel, in my opinion, is nothing short of a good opportunity. For one, we can now get a Beast/Beast crossover.

Really, though, if you check message boards and poll the opinions of comic book fans, they will tell you this is the apocalypse. Trees are dying, the oceans are drying up, and Mickey is responsible.

Most people in the biz will tell you this is actually a good thing. More outlets for Marvel characters to be seen - more TV shows, more movies, more video games. I don't really see how this is negative. I doubt Disney will decide that "Disneyfy" (the newest buzz word to come out of this whole deal) and make things more kid-friendly than necessary.

But, in the end, why should I, the consumer, be concerned?

Namely, a Silver Surfer/Buzz Lightyear mini-series!


I kid, I kid.

It's an honest reaction to worry about a hobby some of us have enjoyed every Wednesday since we were 7. I get that. Comics have defined our lives. You don't want to see Spider-Man suddenly become 10 years old and fight mean old Dr. Octy-puss. But I don't think we have to worry about that. Really I don't.

The prime example being used lately is Pixar, owned by Disney since 2006. They've been doing just fine, as Disney pretty much let them keep doing what they've been doing. Now, the flip side is that Pixar was doing kid-friendly stuff at the time, and Marvel is currently focused more on an adult market.

Should we worry? I would say no. Disney won't do anything drastic. Marvel has clearly defined its market, and I don't think Disney is looking to change it. Expand it, maybe. But not change.

But, only time will tell, I guess.

Oh, one more!

Snow White and Emma Frost: Disney Divas!


OK, I'm done. I think.

A Brave New World?

For those who might not know, American comic books are in a bit of a Renaissance. Along with everything else, comics are going digital.

Now, people in the comics industry have been thinking about how to make this "work." Like books, people prefer to have comics in their hands. Though Amazon's Kindle is a nifty little toy, not many people are screaming about how wonderful it is to curl up in bed with a nice e-book.

Marvel Comics currently has the Digital Comics Unlimited program, where, for a small sub fee, you can read scanned copies of old and new comics on your computer monitor. Though this is nice, and cheap, it doesn't use the advantage of a digital medium.

Less than a year ago, DC Comics began its Motion Comics line. The releases of these comics have been scattered - a few here, a few there. Mostly, these are popular and award-winning miniseries that have been tweaked here and there for motion as well as sound, making it a cross between an audio book and a bad cartoon.

DC started with Watchmen, using the Motion Comic to build hype for the film, and has since moved on to Batman: Black and White and Superman: Red Son. These aren't bad attempts at going digital, but these stories weren't written or drawn to have motion.

Scott McCloud, the ever-experimental comics guru, has fooled around with the medium as well, working on pieces that use the Internet or motion to move the comic around spatially. But his experiments never really use the concept of motion, per se.

Tomorrow, Marvel Comics will release (via iTunes) its first original Motion Comic, Spider-Woman: Agent of SWORD. Since the book's artist, Alex Maleev, and writer, Brian Bendis, are working on this book with the intention of giving it motion, I can only hope that this book will really prove what a "digital comic" can do.



However, all of these attempts at moving comics into the digital realm begs one question: Do comics need to be digital? I believe that Spider-Woman may answer that question with a resounding "YES" if, and only if, Spider-Woman is capable of telling a story in a way no comic ever has before, while still retaining the essence of an American superhero comic. Otherwise, it's just a cartoon.

Writing Exercise: "What Time is It?"

Right now, look at the clock. The current time will determine what kind of story you are going to write.

The current HOUR will determine the MAIN CHARACTER of your story.

If the HOUR is 1 - a robot.
If the HOUR is 2 - a hopeless romantic.
If the HOUR is 3 - a masked vigilante.
If the HOUR is 4 - an elected official.
If the HOUR is 5 - a dinosaur.
If the HOUR is 6 - an imaginary friend.
If the HOUR is 7 - a widow.
If the HOUR is 8 - a tiger cub.
If the HOUR is 9 - the Troll King.
If the HOUR is 10 - a police officer.
If the HOUR is 11 - a college freshman.
If the HOUR is 12 - a god.

The MINUTE (in the tens place) will determine the GENRE of your story.

If the MINUTE is 0X - war.
If the MINUTE is 1X - science-fiction.
If the MINUTE is 2X - horror.
If the MINUTE is 3X - romance.
If the MINUTE is 4X - fantasy.
If the MINUTE is 5X - psychological thriller.

Finally, the TIME OF DAY will determine the TONE of your story.

If it is A.M. - comedic.
If it is P.M. - dramatic.

For example, if it is 2:18 p.m., I would write a DRAMATIC SCIENCE-FICTION story with my main character being A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.


Benjamin strolled the streets the night before it happened. He knew he wasn't supposed to. In fact, he could have been arrested simply for setting foot outside of his apartment stoop, but he was tired of being forced into his little cell every night after 19:00. He was tired of looking out his apartment window, watching the MPs force everyone inside while the curfew bell tolled.

Benjamin had heard earlier that day, just like everyone else, about the news on the radio. It was coming, and not even the Supreme President and his Royal Army could stop something like this. Benjamin felt infuriated at the hours upon hours he had spent, sitting in front of his radio at night after curfew, listening to the Supreme President's address, full of boasts and promises of an invincible army of gears and levers and processors. It was all lies, Benjamin now knew. His world was nothing but lies.

And so it was that thought that forced Benjamin out of his apartment fifteen minutes after curfew. He couldn't even see the moon that night. It was undoubtedly gone, nothing but a specks of dust being sucked into the heat of a star or some such. The sky glowed red, like the lipstick of Benjamin's mother. Or so he thought.

He wasn't supposed to visit the Low District, but laws, like lies, didn't matter anymore. What would they do, throw him in a cell? The MPs must be with their families by now, Benjamin thought. The idea of these men, the only men still in the service of the Supreme President, without their armor or whips, but instead holding tightly their little ones - it warmed Benjamin's heart.

But the thoughts of holding someone, an act he had never been allowed to do because the Council for Procreation still had sixteen months before getting to Benjamin, infuriated him. The only family photo Benjamin had left was a snapshot of his parents, sitting pristine and still in front of a white curtain. His father is holding his mother around the stomach. Benjamin liked to think he was in her stomach at that moment; he liked to think that, at some point in his life, he had been present for a moment of warmth.

Benjamin left the paved street and began marching down the dirt path into the Low District. He had heard rumors of men from the High District venturing down into the Low for black market activities. He had always considered himself above such things, but what difference did morality make anymore? A code of ethics surely wouldn't stop what was coming for them.

Benjamin was surprised to hear the laughing and whooping of merrymaking, and soon he found himself just outside a dancing circle, arms interlocked and feet kicking for the sky. Small fires lit the way deeper into the District, and Benjamin descended into the belly of the lowly village.

How much longer did he have, Benjamin wondered. Long enough for a night together? Long enough to learn the intimate curves of another's body? He could only hope so.

On the front porch of a shanty house, Benjamin found three young women, perhaps only a year or two younger than himself. He caught the eye of a lady and smiled at her. She smiled back, but raised her eyes to the dancing circle now some distance away.

"Ahem, excuse me, miss?"

"Yes?" answered the lady.

"Might I -- I mean, I was wondering if you were one of the ladies I have heard about."

"And what kind of lady might that be?"

"Perhaps, a lady of intimate relations?"

The lady laughed. She sounded so innocent to Benjamin's ears, he found it hard to believe she was anything but a newlwed housewife.

"Tonight, sir, we are all the same. There is no business tonight, only goodbyes."

"Oh," Benjamin said. He had not thought of that. He had not thought that, of all the things to no longer be of importance, that money might be one of them.

"What is your name?" the lady asked.

"Benjamin 54 Charles Place."

"Well, Benjamin 54 Charles Place, my name is Velvet. I am sorry, but your money will be of no good here tonight."

He paused for a moment, trying desperately to remember her face before he went. His eyes fell to his feet, and growing under the shanty porch he found a single rose. He plucked it, minding the thorns, and handed it to Velvet.

"I apologize, miss. Enjoy your night."

"Perhaps, we might enjoy it together?"

He looked up at her and saw her smile of pearls. "But, you said --"

"Money, tonight, is of little value. But there are other things to be gained before the end of the world." Velvet took his hand and led him into the shanty.

Irredeemable, Part Deux

In this review I wrote for ComicNews, I mentioned how interesting it is that there is a story out there that really focuses on the villain and his seeming invincibility. I mean, sure, there are tons of stories where the villain is pumped up to impeccable heights, but there is also a hero in that story who proves his merit by knocking said villain down.

In Irredeemable, there is no hero. Well, let me rephrase. There are heroes in the story. In fact, there is a renegade team of them, but none of them are the focus. If anything, they are really the villains, because the villain is really the hero.

Let me explain and spoiler alert for those who have not yet read the book:

Irredeemable is about The Plutonian, a superman of sorts. He puts on the costume, the cape, the alter ego; he does it all. But the world isn't as nice to him as it is to the Superman we know. This world is, sadly, more like ours.

Example #1: After saving a baseball stadium filled with people from a rampaging robot with a nuclear bomb, one bystander criticizes The Plutonian for being a freak.

Example #2: After The Plutonian reveals his secret identity to the woman he loves, she completely flips out and purposefully spills his secret identity to a group of people who work for the local radio station.

Now, these are but two examples of how The Plutonian is treated, and it comes as no shock to me that this character becomes a mass murderer. And that, dear friends, is scary.

I hate horror films. Not because they keep me up at night, sitting in my bed, chewing on my blankey, hoping for the sun to rise five hours earlier than expected. No, I hate horror films because they don't know how to make a truly scary villain. A guy who chops up every off-duty cheerleader he sees with a machete isn't scary. It's just violent.

This isn't a villain who woke up one morning with a twirly mustache and black top hat with the sudden craving to tie pretty ladies to railroad tracks. No, this is a man who woke up every day, trying to do the right thing, and only got flack for it.

The Plutonian is scary, because he's possible in our society. Falling Down proved such a case. Fatal Attraction is another, perhaps explaining why Alex Forest is one of AFI's Top Villains, despite her lack of machete, evil powers, or gruesome mask. All of these characters are scary, because they could be anybody. They could be us.